


Trapped

by PinkLotus (EspurrsVena)



Category: JO1 (Japan Band), Produce 101 (Japan TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Coming of Age, Developing Relationship, Friendship, I just throw in people I like, M/M, Past Relationship(s), References to Depression, Struggeling with becoming an adult, Toxic Relationship, Two Endings, no beta we die like real men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 15:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30057441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EspurrsVena/pseuds/PinkLotus
Summary: Ruki's relationship with Sukai started so nice but then everything turns into something dangerous...What choice will Ruki make?
Relationships: Kinjo Sukai/Shiroiwa Ruki, Shiroiwa Ruki/Yonashiro Sho
Comments: 8
Kudos: 6





	1. Trapped

Ruki didn’t know when everything had turned wrong.   
Everything had started in an unusual way, yes, but it wasn’t bad. He had been wanting something else. All his previous relationships had bored him eventually, but this didn’t seem the case for Sukai.   
Maybe it was because for the first time he had tried to date someone younger? 

Previously all those boyfriends had been older than him, more mature and it had been what he wanted - adulting was hard & domestic chores were the hardest - but in the end he always grew bored of them. They were nice and great guys, but there was something missing.  
Yet Sukai had been someone exciting from the very first moment. 

Wanting to add something to his future CV, Ruki had taken up a tutor job at his university. He didn’t need the money but Shuta had said that showing engagement would do well during job hunting and tutoring looked like something stress free and not with too many people. Ruki was not particularly excited about the job, but working in a cafe like Fumiya did seemed worse.  
It didn’t take long for four students to be assigned to him. More than he hoped for but still an acceptable amount. All 4 of them were economics freshmen and as their respectable senior - Ren laughed at Ruki calling himself like that - it was his mission or rather his unwillingness to work with more people to help them. 

Sukai was among those four students and thus, the first lesson was the first time they met. Maybe he should have been warned back then already. Because his first impression of the younger one was that Sukai threw a bug at him and laughed. Everyone else would have thought of it as a harmless prank but Ruki was terrified of bugs. Instead of laughing along at the childish prank he screamed and tried to shake the bug away.   
Two other freshmen also laughed, only the last one, Shosei, eventually helped him to get rid of the bug. 

After that disastrous start Ruki actually wanted to give up the job again. Sukai was a psycho who liked throwing bugs at people. Shion and Syoya - the other kids that laughed - spoke in some alien language together and had so many inside jokes that it was impossible to understand them. The last one, Shosei, seemed like an angel but he was friends with those three, so he had to be crazy, too.   
Hence, why did he continue later? 

Actually, Ruki had already been on the way to the office to hand in his resignation, but he met Sukai on the hallway. For a moment, Ruki feared that another bug would be thrown at him, but the boy in front of him suddenly seemed so different from the one he had met the day before. “Ruki, do you have a moment? I wanted to talk.”  
They were inside a building, Sukai’s clothes - a simple white shirt and black skinny jeans - also didn’t offer any hiding places for bugs and his bag seemed to be full of books. It seemed safe and it wouldn’t hurt to agree, the older one thought - and hoped. “Sure.”

Rather than talking in the crowded and noisy hallway, Sukai suggested going to the cafe on the campus. The place wasn’t much better actually. It was also crowded because of lunch time, but they managed to find a spot. The noise level was annoying but that applied to every spot on the campus during this time of the day. “So, what do you want to talk about?”  
“I want to apologise for yesterday. I think my prank was… a little overboard.”  
“That’s one way to say it.”However, Ruki was giving him credit for apologising at least. He hasn’t expected that. In his mind he had marked the younger one as insane already, but there seemed to be some sanity left inside of him.

“Usually people freak out but not like you. So… it’s Entomophobia?”  
“You could say so. But I never let it be diagnosed.” And actually, having it confirmed and thus getting somewhat the pressure to work on it, was something Ruki wanted to avoid. It was much easier to let someone else do the job - unless that someone else was Kosuke who just screamed along with him and maybe that’s why it hadn’t worked out between them.   
“Interesting.” Sukai slipped on his drink, yet his eyes never left Ruki’s face. His stare was like he was directly looking into Ruki’s soul and it made the older one feel bare and embarrassed. No one had ever looked at him like that and while it was a new experience, it also made him feel uncomfortable.

“What’s so interesting about that?” One half of Ruki wanted to look bashfully away, but his other half didn’t want to lose to the younger one. Sukai had thrown him over the edge already once and he didn’t want to give him another chance to do so.   
“I never expected you to be like that.”  
“You knew me before?”   
“Who doesn’t know you? You were Mr. Campus Prince last year and the year before. Plus half of the girls here are staring at you.” 

Initially, Ruki didn't want to sign up for that contest but his friends made him sign up and the next year he had to defend his title. His wins had earned him quite the number of fans on the campus - if he wanted it or not. “So even among the freshmen I have some fans? I feel honoured.” Still, he didn’t want to let Sukai win that little game they were playing - whatever it was. At the same time Ruki could feel himself becoming interested in figuring out his opponent. Sukai’s observation skills were sharp and he didn’t seem as stupid as his grades suggested. 

“Of course. Shosei was head over heels when he was told you would be his tutor.”   
“We weren't talking about him.”  
“I know.” The smirk that Sukai showed was dangerous somehow, but at the same time Ruki became more and more fascinated by him. There was something about him that made the older one want to know more about him. “Anyway, I wouldn’t have expected that someone like you would be scared of bugs.”

“Half of the campus is, believe me.” Among Ruki’s friends Ren was probably the only one who wasn’t scared of bugs.   
“Well, from today on I promise not to throw bugs at you, but to protect you from those.”  
This was far from what Ruki had expected. It felt weird in a way. To be protected by someone younger than him felt wrong somehow - he was the senior, hence protecting was supposed to be his duty in a way, wasn’t it? But at the same time, it also felt exciting because in reality Ruki was rotten-spoiled and loved to be protected. It was a trait he always looked for in his relationships. 

Later, Sukai started to call this first meeting in the cafe their ‘first date’. Ruki preferred to disagree - apologising for throwing bugs at you was far from date content - but it has been the start of Ruki being interested in Sukai. From that day on, the younger one had taken up some space in his mind and soon in his heart, too. As if he was reading the older one’s mind, Sukai pushed all the buttons to make Ruki fall for him. It was like magic.

There was that Ruki liked to feel protected. Not only this, he also liked attentive people and Sukai had proved from his day on how attentive he was.   
The senior only needed to mention something he liked or disliked once and Sukai would remember it. He would buy Ruki’s favourite peach ice tea for him after seeing him drink it one day. Or he would make sure to remove all the seafood from Ruki’s bento box and replace it with more fried chicken before they ate lunch together.   
Sukai spoiled Ruki and the older one loved it. 

Initially, Ruki didn't even want to date again. His last relationship had ended like the previous ones and with graduation coming closer & the part time job he was busy in a way. Also, he had never dated someone younger before. But then again it was Sukai - he wasn’t like the other people in his age. Yes, he was as mischievous as the devil’s duo Shion and Syoya, but at the same time he had some mature aura.  
The spoiling, the attention and how Sukai made him feel young again - not that Ruki was that old but his upcoming graduation and adulthood made him feel old in a way - everything was so exciting that he couldn’t help but to fall for the younger one. 

In the beginning, they only met to eat lunch together if their timetable allowed them to do so. It usually ended with Sukai bugging Ruki with more questions that were supposed to be solved during tutoring sessions. Normally, the senior preferred his breaks as a period to take his mind off from economics or other studies, but most of the time Sukai bought him lunch, so he didn’t complain. He was paid in a way.   
Still, they were students and the younger one’s budget seemed limited. Hence, soon Ruki was given handmade bentos and he liked those far more than the cantine food anyway. As someone who had 0 skills in the kitchen - save for burning it - having someone preparing meals for him made him feel delighted. It tasted so much better because there was something inside of it that no mass production could replicate. 

His ex boyfriend Sho used to say it was “love” that made such food taste better. It was a cheesy thought, but when it had come to Sho it had been believable. Besides the occasional scolding the other man had been always happy to cook with and for Ruki. All together, his ex had been perfect and domestic - too perfect and domestic.   
It felt too stuck, too easy & too ideal. Sho had given him everything and that was the problem. He grew bored and broke up eventually. He did feel sorry because he liked the other one, but he just wasn’t happy. Thus, it had been the better choice. 

But with Sukai it was different. The younger one had a domestic side as shown by the bentos, but there was more.   
He would give Ruki the bento, look at him with a mischievous smile and ask him whether he likes the fried crickets. Yet before the older one fully freaked out he would comfort him and tell him it was nothing but a joke and it was nothing but harmless fried chicken.   
Or another time he would remove the bug that was sitting on the table where they wanted to eat lunch - with his bare hands even - only to jokingly ask Ruki how the exam had gone earlier - on a day when the older one had none. 

Even when the younger one wasn’t teasing him in a way, there was excitement. Together they went to Game Centers as a date - his ex-boyfriends had always preferred cafe dates - and after a few clumsy attempts from his side to direct the crane games, Sukai usually won him the plushie he wanted.   
But when it came to other games, mainly the motorcycle one, Ruki was on the winning side. Or them posing in the purikura photo booths like the giggling Highschool girls in the machine next to them.   
Recently, Sukai had even made him try bungee jumping. The rest of his tutoring group had joined them, and poor little Shosei had been so scared of his jump that Ruki had wanted to hug him afterwards. Still, it had been an experience he would have never tried on his own or that he could have done with his same aged friends.  
All together, there was no boring day with Sukai and Ruki loved that feeling. 

However, what bothered him were the reactions from said friends. They weren’t as supportive of his new relationship as he hoped them to be. He had an assumption why. He guessed that it was because his friends preferred to see him with Sho again.  
Ren had introduced them back in the days and Shuta had also known him from somewhere. Also, Kosuke, his previous ex, had been supportive of them because he knew Sho from work. He also prefered knowing who his friends were dating before. nethertheless their reactions bothered him. 

All the time they complained. That Ruki wasn’t like himself anymore: dating someone younger when all his previous boyfriends had been older. Sukai wasn’t even that young, only 3 years younger than him.   
They refused to see that all his previous relationships had ended in failure and it was only natural for him to try something new.   
Furthermore, Ruki felt more like himself than ever. He felt freer than ever. The pressure from the upcoming adulthood was forgotten. 

Also, they complained that he had barely time for them. Sure, he spent a lot of time with Sukai, but that was something normal when you just entered a relationship. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to make both sides get along. He had introduced the younger one to his friends, yet the response had been colder than a winter morning.   
Only Ren had been friendly with Sukai the whole time while the rest made clear that they still wanted to see Sho at Ruki’s side. Junki even bluntly said it and Ruki thought he saw at least Fumiya and Shuta nodding in the background.   
Hence, it was no surprise that he spent less time with them and more time with Sukai and his friends, wasn’t it?

Winter came and thus Ruki’s graduation and Sukai’s exams came closer. He had to work on his thesis, but back at home it was too noisy. His parents pressured him that he should start job hunting soon, yet he wanted to focus on the task right before him. First the thesis and then the job hunting. He had never liked studying in the university library and the surrounding cafes were also too noisy, but luckily Sukai offered to come over to his place. 

The idea had more than one advantage. Ruki had a nice and comfortable place to work on his thesis, Sukai was close so that he could help him study, and they could spend more time together. That the decision had been no mistake was proved when Sukai suddenly surprised him with pressing a cold can of Cola on his neck and a large pizza waiting at the couch table. He just knew what Ruki needed while fighting with the monster called graduation thesis.

Eventually, the night became longer than he expected and the last train towards his home had left without him. Fortunately, Sukai had no problem with letting him stay the night. The thought made the older one a little nervous. They never had spent the night together so far and while there was no implication that something could happen that night, just the thought of sharing a bed with the taller one made a slight blush appear on his face.   
Sukai noticed that of course and couldn’t help but comment on it while showing his canine like teeth. “Don’t worry. I won’t bite. Unless you ask.”

When Ruki woke up the next morning, Sukai had left already. He knew that his boyfriend had morning classes on that day and it was somehow a sweet gesture that the brown haired one had been so thoughtful and let him sleep. Ruki’s own classes wouldn’t start before the afternoon, thus he took his time with breakfast and getting ready. However, when he was ready to leave because he wanted to change clothes at home prior to his classes, he discovered that the door was locked. 

After the initial shock, Ruki remembered that Sukai wasn’t a morning person. The times he had seen the younger one in the morning, Sukai reminded him of a zombie and his morning classes were also the ones he needed the most tutoring in.   
Additionally, it had been the first time that Ruki had slept at his place, so most likely sleepy Sukai had just forgotten about him which was adorable in a way.   
In his mind Ruki made a note to tease Sukai mercilessly for that later.

Not having anything better to do anyway, Ruki started to clean the small apartment. There were still the leftovers from the night before and his boyfriend didn’t seem like the tidiest person. After he finished that task, Sukai hadn’t returned yet, so Ruki continued to work on his thesis.   
Ultimately, he made good progress in that time. It was far from finished, yet he was proud of himself.

When Sukai returned in the evening, he didn’t seem shocked about finding his boyfriend in his apartment to Ruki’s surprise . “How was your day, Rurutan?”  
“A little bit boring, because my handsome but stupid boyfriend accidentally locked me into his apartment, but at least my thesis is three pages longer now.”  
“I’m glad to hear about your progress. I brought ingredients to make gyoza on the way home. Should we make them together?”

“Actually, I wanted to go home now.”  
“But I haven’t seen you all day and I promise you that the recipe of my grandmother is the best one.”  
Having skipped lunch in favour of working on his thesis made Ruki’s stomach growl in that moment and it was so loud that Sukai heard it. The younger one just took Ruki’s hand with a triumphant smirk and dragged him into the kitchen.

Unless when it came to cleaning, Ruki and the kitchen would never become friends. Even under Sukai’s guidance his gyozas turned out as failures. Either they looked like a nightmare or they opened themselves in the water again. But Sukai just chuckled about it and told him not to worry. “If it has to be I will always cook for you.”

After all dumplings were cooked, the two moved to the living room again and watched a movie while eating. The brown haired one occasionally fed one of the gyoza to Ruki and soon the older one forgot about the time again. Only when it was too late, he realised it but he had no choice but to spend another night at his boyfriend’s place.   
In fact, he didn’t even mind that. Sitting in Sukai’s arms on the sofa while watching some psychological thriller movie made him feel at peace and like he belonged there.

The next day both of them had morning classes, hence Sukai wasn’t able to forget him at home again. Seeing Sukai right after he woke up was both adorable and hot in Ruki’s eyes. His behaviour - the tired mumbling and the disorientation - were cute, but his looks - the messy hair and the fact that Sukai only slept in a top and shorts - only enhanced his charms. For a moment, Ruki even considered staying in bed and appreciating the view a little longer, yet he had missed his classes already the day before.

He spent the next few nights at his home again, yet the temptation to return to Sukai’s place was strong. He had liked waking up next to the taller one and being surrounded by his smell. It made him forget all his worries about the future. Also, because of the upcoming Christmas season he was alone at home anyway. In the previous years, he had enjoyed that time because he was able to study in peace, but every now and then his parents dropped subtle hints that they wanted to take Ruki along to their events in hope that he could score a job through an unofficial way. Yet each time he excused himself by stating that he wanted to finish his thesis first. 

Hence, on the weekend he found his way back to Sukai’s apartment. This time, he didn’t even work on his thesis. Sukai invited him to try out the new game he had bought which was surprisingly addictive. Soon the sky changed colour again and being exhausted from fighting all the virtual creatures, made the two of them cuddling on the sofa while watching some idol program.   
“This pink hair of that guy reminds me of spring. I wish I could dye my hair like that, too.” It was nothing but a random longing. With job hunting around the corner any hair colour save for black or maybe a dark brown had turned into a taboo. 

“Why not? It would suit you.”  
“Sukai, once I finish my thesis I have to start job hunting and you know how conservative companies are. Pink hair is not allowed.” Becoming a true adult really took out every fun of your life.  
“Then you only dye them for the time being and once you start job hunting you dye them black again.” The idea wasn’t bad, but with his parents urging him to join their christmas and year end dinners, it felt like he was job hunting in a way already.

However, Sukai wouldn’t be Sukai, if he didn't have any ace up his sleeve.   
The next day Shion, Syoya and Shosei came over for another S4 tutoring and later gaming session with Ruki, yet Syoya brought a surprise with him - hair dye.   
“Do you want to dye your hair today?”  
“No, we will dye your hair. Sukai mentioned that you want to do that yesterday, so I brought everything necessary.”

Just as Ruki expected from Sukai. He just needed to mention something once and he made sure it would happen. Still, he was somewhat insecure about taking that step. “Are you sure we should do that?”  
“Trust me. I’m an expert.”  
“Syoya, you never dyed your hair in the time we know each other.”  
“I did. Don’t you see it’s dark blue?”

On this day, Ruki’s hair colour turned into the colour of cherry blossoms and he liked it. Even if it was only for a short period, the colour made him feel good - his thoughtful boyfriend made him feel good - and he wanted to enjoy his last weeks of youth as much as possible. He was thankful for having met Sukai who was giving him those opportunities. 

Monday started without any special events. His friends sent him weird looks when they saw him with pink hair. All of them - even Takumi whose pink hair had been something like a trademark in recent years - had settled with more mature colours recently, hence Ruki was standing out among the people of his year. In a way, it made him feel proud and unique. 

During lunch break, the two wanted to meet to eat the leftovers from the day before, yet when Ruki made his way towards their usual lunch spot, he ran into Sho to his surprise. He knew that the company Sho was working for was quite close to the campus - they had spent a few lunch breaks together during their relationship - yet it was still a surprise to see him. 

“Hey Ruki. Do you have some time?”   
Ruki’s class had ended a few minutes earlier than it was supposed to, so he had some time before Sukai arrived, and he was indeed curious what Sho wanted from him. But at the same time it felt wrong to meet his ex while waiting for his current boyfriend. “Not much. What is it?”  
“I wanted to talk.”

“Sho, if you want me back, no. I have a new boyfriend and I’m happy with him.” They might not be in contact anymore, yet Ruki was sure that the older one knew already. They shared enough friends who all seemed to oppose his current relationship.   
“Well, your boyfriend is the reason why I wanted to talk. I heard some things from the others…”   
“And let me guess. They don’t like him and begged you to take me back. But you can tell them that I don’t want you back. Sorry Sho, but you were not the right one for me.”

At that moment Ruki was furious. He couldn’t believe that his friends had betrayed him like that. Instead of talking to him, they had gone to his ex. “But you are not yourself anymore. Ruki, you have pink hair now.”  
“So? I like it.”  
“Since when?”  
“Since I saw myself in the mirror with pink hair.” He couldn’t understand it. Why was everyone so against him enjoying his life at Sukai’s side?

“Ruki, you have to start job hunting soon and -”  
“I know. I fucking know. Everyone reminds me of that and I can’t wait to become a boring and uniform adult like all of you. But first, let me enjoy my life a little longer.”  
“You don’t have to become angry. Ruki, what happened with you? You were never like that. I don’t know you like that.”  
“Maybe you never knew me at all and that’s why it didn’t work out between us.”

To his luck, in that moment Sukai appeared and Ruki made sure that Sho saw him being happy about the younger one, kissing him and leaving together. He was done with his ex and his so called friends at that moment. He felt like Sukai and the rest of his tutoring group to an extent were the last ones who truly understood him.

To add to Ruki’s misery his parents were far from happy when they saw his new hair colour. Once more he was reminded of the upcoming adulthood and once more he was done with that topic. Why couldn’t he enjoy his life a little longer? And why was the world of working people even that boring?  
For a second, Ruki considered going over to Sukai’s place again, but he didn’t want to cause more ruckus in his family. To pacify the situation he even agreed to join that next party.

Before the party his family tried to make him change his hair colour, yet he managed to win the argument for once. His colour would leave an impression and that was something important when you were job hunting. Also, it was just some informal event. For the formal ones, he would of course change his colour back. 

Still, the party was as miserable as he had feared it. Ren was there - which was to be expected since he was the son of one of his parent’s business partners - and he still hadn’t talked to any of his friends since they had sent Sho to him. He wanted to make up with his friends, but the whole situation had left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth that hadn’t disappeared yet.  
To make everything worse, Sho was also there. He had no idea why and for a minute he hoped that maybe Ren had started dating him, but no, fate wasn’t that kind to him. 

His parents barely knew anything about this private life, too often they were too busy with their business, so they didn’t know that he and Sho had dated in the past. When he slept over somewhere else he usually just said he slept at some friend’s place.   
Yet they knew about his preference for men - thank god he had older siblings so the business would be continued with a new generation and he could at least date who he wanted - and the way they introduced Sho to him made it clear in which direction it was going. 

For a moment Ruki considered asking Ren for help. He could stomach pretending to be in love with his long term friend for an evening, but he was still angry at Ren. No apology had come yet and even when they found each other alone for a moment his friend was no help at all. “I missed you.”  
“It’s your fault. Sending my ex after me? Seriously?”  
“It wasn’t my idea, I promise. But your parents seem to like him…”  
“And I have a boyfriend already. Accept that.”

“You changed so much since you’ve met him.” There was concern in Ren’s voice and back in the days, Ruki had trusted Ren’s intuition that never failed. Yet things had changed and he was done with everyone being against him.   
“I finally learnt to be myself.” With that Ruki left the party and made his way towards Sukai’s apartment. He was tired of people trying to form him in a way they wanted to see him. Only when he was with Sukai, he felt truly like himself.

As always Sukai welcomed him with open arms and once those arms enclosed him, Ruki felt all the weight dropping from his shoulders and save. He didn’t need those stuck up people, he only needed Sukai. “It’s okay, Rurutan. I will protect you from those people.” He whispered before kissing Ruki gently.

When Ruki found himself alone in Sukai’s apartment the next morning, he felt lonely. He wanted to have the man who made him feel protected and made sure that he would never stay stressed for long by making him laugh for hours. Even when he found the door locked again, he didn’t complain. Actually, he had no desire to interact with the world outside. No one but Sukai cared for him anyway. He had only wanted to leave to get his things from his parent’s house.

Exactly because Sukai was the best person in his world, he returned the night with a huge pizza and cola. Ruki needed comfort food and his comfort boyfriend. Still, he needed to pick up his belongings. He still had a thesis to finish and he needed some new fresh clothes, too. But he didn’t want to go alone. He feared his parents would trap him at home for what he had done. “Sukai, are you coming with me when I pick up my things at home?”  
“Of course.”

The next morning they went to Ruki’s place. The pink haired one had been sure that his parents were at work at this time, yet both of them were waiting for him. Their words were a mix of relief that he was fine and scolding for what he had done. Yet the blame for giving them a bad image among their peers was the most prominent part. All their words only confirmed to Ruki that he was done with them and their world. “This is Sukai. He is my boyfriend and I’m moving to him now.”

At this moment, Ruki felt free from everyone’s expectations for the first time and it felt so good. Sukai’s support made him feel good and Sukai’s small apartment turned into his happy place. Not wanting to meet his so called friends who kept bombing his inbox until he blocked them, he barely felt the apartment anymore, not even for classes.

But it was okay for him to see the outside world only through a glass window. Inside he had everything he needed. He had Sukai, food, his thesis made some progress and no one placed their unrealistic expectations on him. He didn’t even mind Sukai locking the door each time he left. Unlike Sukai, Ruki didn’t know any martial arts, hence if someone tried to enter and steal something he wouldn’t be able to protect himself. 

Being confined in the small apartment was also far from boring. He had chores, his thesis and Sukai’s streaming account to keep himself entertained. Once Sukai’s classes were over, he would come home and they would cook together. In a way, it was the domestic life Ruki used to hate, but at the same time it was not. Because this time he had chosen it himself and the other options of life were worse. 

Thanks to the modern times, Ruki didn’t even need to go to his university to hand in his finished thesis. He thought about attending his graduation ceremony when the email about it reached him. When he had started studying, he and his friends promised each other to celebrate their graduation together. Yet right now he didn’t want to see his former friends again. They wouldn’t understand him and place their expectations on him again. Thus, he formally declined the invitation.

Luckily, Ruki had a caring boyfriend who made sure he would have a celebration of this achievement. Sukai along with Shion, Syoya and Shosei surprised him with one made by themselves. The evening had been much more fun with games, snacks and not a stiff program than his actual one would have been. 

Still, there was one worry he had left. His parents had freezed his bank account and Sukai wasn’t that wealthy. He had to earn money and start the unwanted job hunting.   
Yet his boyfriend knew a solution for that problem, too. Since their living expenses weren’t that big - thanks to spending most of the time at home - a part time job was enough and there were even those he could do from home.   
Eventually, Ruki decided to continue his tutor work by becoming an online tutor, hence there was still no reason to leave the house. 

Yet when Spring came and the cherry blossoms started to decorate the city, he felt the urge to leave the house for the first time in a while. It would surely be beautiful to take pictures under the tree with his hair having the same colour as them. Every year, he had picniked with his friends under the trees and this year he wanted to do that with Sukai.   
However, when he proposed that idea to his boyfriend he reacted with an irritated response.  
“You know that I have hay fever and it’s especially bad when it comes to cherry blossoms.”  
“Just one afternoon, Sukai, please. You can take meds before and I really want to see them.”

The next day instead of a cherry blossom date, Sukai returned with a few branches which were decorated with the pink blossoms. It was a sweet gesture, but not the same. Having a picnic under the trees was what Ruki loved about the spring and eating dinner while being surrounded by a few lone branches didn’t feel right. Even when it was with his beloved Sukai. He begged his boyfriend to go with him, yet he stayed with his stance and the door stayed locked. Only through the windows Ruki was able to see the city being decorated in pink.

By now Ruki had lost all sense of time. He knew it was spring - the view outside of the window had told him so much - but he had for example no idea whether the annual spring picnic meeting of his former friend circle had taken place already. He still had them blocked and he had barely touched his phone in the recent weeks anyway. He had no reason. Sukai was the only person in his life left. It was depressing in a way, but his life would be depressing even if he hadn’t chosen Sukai about anyone else. 

At least Sukai loved and understood him, so he could be himself. Sure, he had to pay the price of being locked in this apartment, but it was better than being a company slave, wasn’t it? For him being locked into an apartment wasn’t much different than being tied to your company desk.  
Yet gradually, he felt like even Sukai’s love wasn’t enough anymore. The outside world called him - literally. 

It was one afternoon and Sukai was doing some errands while Ruki was sitting in front of the window, absorbing as much of the cherry blossoms as it was possible from the inside. However, it was never enough no matter how long he did that.   
Suddenly, he spotted a figure outside that looked like Sho. His ex looked around as if he was searching for something but then he saw Ruki, too, and he seemed to call for someone. More of Ruki’s former friendship circle came into view and they stopped under the window.   
Their shouting was somewhat unclear, but since there was no sound coming from inside the apartment, he could somewhat understand them - he should open the window.

For a moment, Ruki hesitated. Was he even able to open the window or was it locked, too? He had seen Sukai opening it, but maybe there was some key or mechanism he didn’t know. Yet the window looked ordinary, thus with a shaking hand he attempted to open it and it worked. From the outside a wave made of fresh air and various sounds, including the cheers of the people from his past, crashed at him. It was overwhelming in a way, but finally Ruki felt something new again.

“There you are. We were so worried about you.” It was Ren who spoke first and the relief in his voice somehow surprised Ruki. Their last meeting and even their last message exchange hadn’t ended well and he still assumed that the other one was angry at him, too.   
“We were so worried when you didn’t attend the graduation ceremony. We promised that we would celebrate together when we started, didn’t we?” Ruki remembered that promise he had made with Shuta and all his other other friends when they were merely freshmen. In a way it made him feel guilty now. He had declined because of their fight, but they still wanted him to attend and keep the promise.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to see me and Sukai made a special one for me.”   
“Did Sukai also make a special hanami picnic for you, too, so that you miss our annual one?” While Shuta had sounded sad, Junki was right the opposite. He seemed angry and the pink haired one couldn’t blame him. He had disappointed his friends.   
“He tried… But it was not the same.”  
“Thought so.”  
“That’s why we are here. Time to change that.” That Sho was there was a surprise and it felt wrong in a way. He represented everything Ruki hadn’t wanted and yet he was glad to see him down there.

As much as he wanted to join the group outside, there was still a problem he couldn't solve. “The door is locked.”  
“Told you guys.” Fumiya just rolled with his eyes.   
“Okay, yes you were right, Sano.” Even Kosuke was there and bickering with Fumiya like in the good old days. His friends were still the same people even after entering companies. Only their looks had changed. For the first time, Ruki felt that he might have been sacred for no reason.   
“It’s the second floor. Do you think you are brave enough to jump out? We will catch you.” Sho opened his arms to signalise this and Ruki knew he was strong enough for that. He had spent countless nights in those strong arms in the past.

_Would you jump?  
> yes  
> no  
_


	2. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruki makes the jump and he finally realises what is the true problem in his life.

_Would you jump?  
 **> yes **  
> no _

It took a moment for him to gather the courage, but then he lifted himself over the edge of the window frame and fell.   
He trusted Sho to catch him. Furthermore, there was also Kosuke. He was strong, too. Junki had some muscles, too, and short Takumi hid some strong arms under his far too big hoodies. One of them would catch him. He knew it.

It was probably less than a second until he safely landed in Sho’s arms, but it felt like an eternity because a thousand thoughts swirled in his mind. Was it alright to do so? What would Sukai think? Would his friends ever forgive him? Or his parents? Did he mess up all chances to enter the job world like his friends did?  
But Sho’s strong arms held him and he felt safe. He felt right there. It was the first time in a while he felt like right somewhere again. 

Ruki had used to feel the same in Sukai’s arms months ago, but that feeling had disappeared along with all other feelings weeks ago. He hadn’t even been sure anymore what he had felt for the younger one. The excitement from the early days of their relationship had long passed and it had been replaced by something that was hard to grasp. Maybe you could call it gratitude. Gratitude for giving him a different experience than anyone else and helping him to get out of a golden cage? But then he had been placed into a new one without realising it. He had become dependent on Sukai while all he had ever craved to be free a little longer. The amount of things he had felt during the short fall had been more than he had felt in weeks. It was crazy but right at same time. 

Probably longer than necessary Sho held him, but Ruki didn’t mind it. His warm body was a nice contrast against the slightly cold spring wind.   
As soon as his feet touched the ground he was encircled by his friends who formed a big group hug. Everyone seemed to be glad to have Ruki back among them and even Junki who seemed angry earlier hugged him tightly now. It felt right because it was right. This was the place where he belonged and not the small apartment where he had spent the previous weeks. 

However, before they reached the park that Ruki always watched from that window, they came across Sukai. For some reason, Ruki became scared the moment their eyes met and in fact, Sukai seemed furious. “Ruki, what are you doing outside and with those people?”  
“I wanted to go to the park to see the cherry blossoms. You can join us if you want.” His voice was shaking and maybe even his hands were shaking until Sho took one of them.   
“I said no. How did you even leave the apartment?”  
“I jumped out of the window.”

“Are you insane?” Sukai stormed towards them and grabbed Ruki’s arm to drag him back to the house.   
Yet Sho didn’t let go of him and pulled him closer. The pink haired one feared he would end up torn like a teddy bear when two children fought over it, yet Ren stepped between the guys and buried his nails into Sukai’s arms. “If you hadn’t locked Ruki in, he wouldn’t have needed to jump.” Never in his life, Ruki had heard his childhood friend that angry and if he had been in Sukai’s place he would have been endlessly scared.

“I did that to his own protection.” Sukai pulled his arms away both from Ruki and thus from Ren, too, and the marks that Ren’s nails had left were clearly visible.   
“His protection or the protection of your obsession with him?” As if Junki’s words were some hidden commando, Ruki’s friends encircled the brown haired one now and the action didn’t fail to have some effect. Sukai took steps backwards - away from Ruki.   
“You didn’t even understand him! But I do. I gave Ruki what he needed.”

Sukai was right. Ruki had needed what Sukai had given him, but recently, he had felt that his needs had shifted or rather they were still the same, but all the time he had spent trapped in the apartment had given him time to think. Meeting his friends again and feeling their warmth while experiencing the real world again, was the last push he had needed. He was no expensive exhibit in a museum that needed to be protected. He needed the freedom that Sukai had promised him earlier in their relationship.

“For a time, yes. You gave me temporary freedom before locking me in the next golden cage.”  
“I did that because I love you.”  
“You never loved him. You loved owning him.”, interrupted Sho them. His cold voice was such a contrast to the warm body that was still holding Ruki.  
“It’s okay, Sho. Let me do this.” Ruki knew he had to lead the talk. He had been passive too long already. “You might still love me, but Sukai, I’m sorry, I don’t love you anymore.”

In the end, Ruki was someone who fell in love quickly but also fell out of love equally fast because he had never known what he actually wanted. Being spoiled was nice and it made him feel good temporarily, but in the end it had never been the thing that he had actually needed. First, he needed to find this thing, before he was ready to tie his life to somehow else. It was a somewhat late realisation and he felt sorry for Kosuke, Sho and also Sukai in a way that they had their hearts broken because of him. 

“Rurutan, they are brainwashing you. We are a match made in heaven.”  
Ruki wished that the other one was right but everything that had happened - or rather what didn’t happen - had proved that it wasn’t the reality. “No, we are not. Your perfect partner is waiting for you somewhere else. I’m sorry.” He heard Shuta telling him he shouldn’t apologise and Junki commenting that Sukai needed some therapy, but he ignored them. He even tore himself from Sho’s embrace only to embrace Sukai to everyone’s shock. 

Meanwhile, Sukai started to tear up and told Ruki over and over how much he loved him and that they could work hard on themselves together. A part inside of the pink haired one wanted to hold him longer and maybe even try it, but he needed more the freedom he was feeling now, the spring breeze that gave him slight goosebumps, and his circle of friends who hadn’t abandoned him besides his actions. “I’m sorry, Sukai.” 

It was hard to break the hug from his side and Sukai still clung to him, but Ruki knew he had to do that. He had to end everything in that moment or else it would turn into something worse.   
He stepped back into his friendship circle and slowly the anxiety and tension melted inside of him. Still, he repeatedly told himself that he was doing the right thing.  
“Let’s go to the park.” Sho took his hand again and the shorter one nodded. 

“Wait for me there. I’m going to pick up Ruki’s things now.”   
“Ruki can do that himself later.” Ren’s proposal didn’t seem welcome by Ruki’s now ex boyfriend.   
“Only for you to trap him again? No way.”  
“I will come with you, Ren.”, declared Takumi who had been silent so far.   
With two against one, Sukai had no choice to agree and both groups made their ways.

In the park his friends had prepared the picnic already like all the years before. Happiness was bubbling up inside of Ruki, yet the feeling of guilt didn’t want to disappear. Did he even deserve that after all he had done? “Is that even okay?”  
“Why shouldn’t it be okay? We did it every year like this.” Shuta had opened the first bag of snacks already.  
“No, I mean me celebrating with you.”  
“We did everything, so that you could celebrate with you.”

“We all make mistakes. You won’t get rid of us anytime soon. You didn’t even get rid of me after you broke up with me. I just like you and the rest of the guys too much” The rest of the group nodded in agreement to Sho’s statement. “So grab your favourite snacks and enjoy the flowers in the same beautiful shade as your hair.”

It took a while for Ren and Takumi to return, but they managed to retrieve all of Takumi’s belongings from Sukai’s apartment. Only when they returned, Ruki realised he had no place to sleep. He wasn’t ready to face his parents yet.  
“It’s okay. I thought so and you will sleep at my place until you are ready.” Ren said and before Ruki could reply anything his childhood friend stuffed a piece of Kitkat into his mouth to make him shut up.

In a way everything was like it used to be, but at the same time it was different. The change Ruki had feared hadn’t occured, but he had changed too much. He had lost himself on the way, but he was glad to have his friends who would help him to find his path eventually. Maybe he would lose people on the path again and maybe he would meet new ones. He wondered how everything would turn out - also in regard of Sho who still gave him a warm feeling to his surprise.  
At the same time he also hoped Sukai would find happiness - true happiness - one day, too.

It was time for Ruki to figure out himself and his needs now. Only then he could heal and find his path - on his own and with the people who cared for him on his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we have the good ending.   
> It was the first ending I wrote for the story and while I like it, there was something which made me want to write another one.  
> But if you are in need for a happy end, you made the right decision to come here~


	3. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruki doesn't jump and decides to stay inside.

_Would you jump?  
> yes  
**> no**_

But Ruki couldn’t make that step. It felt wrong. What if Sho didn’t catch him? He could die.  
Furthermore, he couldn’t betray Sukai like that. The younger one had done so much for him. Sure, they didn’t have the best phase right now, but eventually they would overcome this. Life was about ups and downs. Their bond was strong. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. That plan is insane.”  
“It might be insane, but there is no other way.” As much as Ruki wanted to grant Sho’s wish and give in, he couldn’t do that. There was more to lose than to gain. 

“We can talk here.” This was the safest option. Sure, Ruki longed to go into the park with everyone, but jumping out of the window? No sane person would do that.  
Also, he could understand why Sukai didn’t want to go to the park. His hay fever was bad and he never left the house without a mask recently. Still, each day he came back with red and swollen eyes. That he even brought some branches besides that meant a lot to Ruki already.  
“Ruki, we are screaming through half of the apartment complex. That’s stupid.”  
“Just like jumping out of the window.”

Why couldn’t his former friends see how stupid their plan was? If they were in his place, they would surely answer the same thing. But it was the same thing as before. No one was willing to see the things from his point of view. They never tried to understand him. Instead they portrayed their expectations on him and refused to see his point.  
That’s why he liked being with Sukai because he was different. They might have their disagreements but in the end they always found a compromise. The cherry blossoms had been a good example for that. Next year the longing for the actual trees wouldn’t be that strong anymore. 

“Ruki please. We just want to rescue you.” If it hadn’t been for his voice, Ruki wouldn’t have recognised Ren. They had known each other since their childhood and while Ren had only silver hair during their college days, it was like the perfect colour for him. Yet he had also dodged it in favour for the dark uniform colour and his hair cut had changed, too. He had turned into a company clone and in a way it broke Ruki’s heart to see that.  
“Why would you want to rescue me? To make me turn into a clone, too? Here I can be myself.”

He could keep the pink hair he had grown to love. He could work at his own pace. He didn’t need to work himself to death and each evening he could spend it with his caring boyfriend. Why did he need to be rescued? He was living the best life he could wish for. There were parts that could be improved, yes, but there was no perfect life anyway. He and Sukai would work on it and improve their lives together - he was sure of that.  
“Do you even hear yourself, Ruki? You are trapped like some exhibit in a museum. People can just stare at you through glass and no one is allowed to touch you.” Junki always had been someone loud but the anger made him become ever louder. The pink haired one was sure that the whole complex could hear him by now. 

“And what’s your problem with that? Is it that I’m not as rich as you guys and that’s why I’m not good enough for Ruki.” Suddenly, Sukai had returned and he was facing all alone Ruki’s former friends now. His boyfriend might be someone strong, but it was an unequal situation and it made him fear the worst. The group was angry and the brown haired one was the one who caused everything in their eyes.  
“There you are! Why are you locking Ruki into your apartment?” Junki seemed ready to attack at any moment, but for now Takumi held him back.

“To his own protection.” Luckily, Sukai stayed calm, yet Ruki wouldn’t have blamed him if he snapped. However staying calm was the best option in this situation. “Why are you even here?”  
“We wanted to go to our annual cherry blossom picnic with Ruki, but sadly he can’t leave his jail.” Junki seemed to become angrier with every minute, but it was his own fault.  
“This is no jail.” The couple answered in unison - to the distress of everyone else.  
“Then let him out.”  
“Did you even ask him whether he wants to go out? Rurutan, do you want to go with them?”

A good question. In the beginning he had wanted to go, but seeing his former friends being so aggressive towards his boyfriend had dampened his excitement. If he could go with Sukai and them, it would be an option, but he doubted the possibility of that. The atmosphere was too tense for a good time. However, the cherry blossoms he saw from the near park were indeed beautiful. “I would love to, but you said you are allergic, Sukai.”  
“He can stay home. We go together.” As tempting as Sho’s offer was, it felt wrong to do that with your ex boyfriend while your current boyfriend sat at home.

“And who promises me that you let him return to me? You are clearly against our relationship.” As always Sukai’s observations were on point. There was no guarantee that they wouldn’t drag Ruki back to his parents.  
“Do you hear yourself talking? Ruki is not a thing or a dog you can lend for an afternoon and return him afterwards. He is a human with a free will.” Now also Ren seemed to become angry which was a rare occasion. Normally, Ren was the human definition of serenity.  
“Yes and his free will had just stated that he doesn’t want to go.”

Even from his position Ruki could feel the situation become more and more agitated, yet he couldn’t do much. He wanted to help but so far the only option seemed to be giving in into the will of the group. But it felt wrong and it would hurt Sukai which was the last thing he wanted to do. The younger one had given him so much and he never wanted to hurt him. Still, the situation down there needed to be solved in a way and Sukai seemed to be the only one who was willing to listen to him. “Sukai, come home.”  
“Of course, my love.” For a second it looked like the group wanted to block his way, but ultimately Sukai was able to pass through them and enter the building. 

It took less than a minute until Ruki heard the door unlocking and finally Sukai was back home. The pink haired one didn’t even need to leave his spot because his boyfriend made his way straight to him and hugged him from behind. Automatically, Ruki leaned against him and while he would have prefered it if they did it in the park under the cherry blossoms, it was okay like that. Life wasn’t perfect, but he had made his choice. Sukai and this new life was his choice and if the people down there - people he had known so much longer than Sukai - didn’t want to understand him, it was their problem. 

“Ruki, please come with us.” It was the final plea from Shuta before Sukai closed the window.  
Ruki could see and hear the group calling for him a little longer and there was still a part of him that longed to go with them. Yet he wanted to go with them and with Sukai and if they couldn’t accept the brown haired one, then be it like that. He had enough from them and their demands. He didn’t need them. They had been part of his life, but his path had turned another way - towards Sukai. 

Hence, he turned his body another way, too. Away from his former friends and towards his loving boyfriend. Gently, he placed a kiss on his lips and while the kiss felt colder than the ones they shared weeks ago, he knew it was only temporary. Their relationship was in a down phase right now and Ruki was sure that the new up was just waiting for them around the corner.  
Because Sukai loved him for who he was and he protected him from the people who wanted to turn him into something he was not.  
“You made the right decision, Rurutan. Only I can understand you.”  
“Yes, only you can understand me.”

Ruki didn’t need the wide world. He only needed someone who understood him. That’s why he was fine with being trapped into a small apartment and watching the world through a window. Museums also did nothing but protect their most precious pieces and that was precisely what his boyfriend did with him. Sukai didn’t trap him, he protected him from the people who actually wanted to destroy him. There was a price to pay, but that was okay. 

It wasn’t perfect at this moment, but Ruki was sure that it would change sooner or later. He would become happy again. Sukai would make sure of that. He always knew how to make Ruki happy because he loved him.  
It was the mantra Ruki told himself over and over while he stayed in Sukai’s arms and the small apartment which had turned into his whole world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have the bad ending!  
> My original propose with that story was to write some slightly disturbing again but I ended up writing the good ending first. Still, I wanted to go the bad way but I didn't want to delete the other ending, thus we have those two endings for the story!  
> I hope you like my ideas and please leave your thoughts in the comments!  
> See you~

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~  
> Unusual upload time, but it took me so long last night that I decided to do the editing early today.  
> While I was initially joking about the prompt of a psycho RuruSuka relationship, the response had been so good that I decided to write it. Well, it's an unusual ship to write, but I tried my best.  
> I hope I added enough warnings into the tags, but I'm honestly not sure if the rating is okay like that? If anyone wants me to add more warnings or raise the rating, feel free to tell me!  
> So now get ready for Ruki's decision~


End file.
